Getting this of my chest.
With 2009 coming to an end I figure I would address a topic that changed my life forever. I haven’t spoken about this issue with very many people outside of my close circle of personal friends but I figure I would share my story to continue the healing process and to help others learn from my mistake.
What I did:
In June of this year I used a gay slur to describe a popular gaming website. Several prominent game industry websites picked up on the story and it outraged many of my colleagues in the industry.
The aftermath:
I felt the gravity of the situation when I found out some friends and coworkers that I personally know and love were hurt by what I said. Not only did I embarrass myself but I made the entire game industry look bad by showing how immature I was.
My mom found out and called me on the phone crying about how I could do something so stupid. It was a terrible feeling, have you ever had a parent tell you they were disappointed at something you did? It’s hard to explain but after this call I had a feeling of dread that I never had before. She was totally right. Looking back on what I said it was just mind-bogglingly stupid. With that said, it was not the first time I used a gay slur, which brings me to my next point…
How I’ve changed:
In the month following the situation I knew I had to make a change. After I left my place of employment I started going through my past ramblings on twitter and other various blogs and I realized I came off as a very negative and angry person. In real life I don’t feel that I am that way so I used this whole ugly event as a chance to reinvent myself as a more positive person. I look at it as a life lesson. I never gave slurs the gravity they should have.
Now that I’ve had a few months to think about what I said, I can honestly look in the mirror and say that I am a better person. I’ve changed my outlook on life and reinvented myself mentally and now think critically about what I say online and in real life.
Looking ahead:
I am truly sorry about what I said. No matter how angry I was, that kind of language should never be used. It was unacceptable and it is something that I will regret forever. Everyone has made mistakes in their lives, and everyone has said things they wish they could take back. I hope that everyone else will use this to learn from my mistakes.
To everyone I offended, all my former and current co-workers, my colleges in the game industry, my friends, and my family, I hope that you will all forgive me.
Thanks, and happy New Year
-Guy Selga Jr
Guy Selga around the web
I’m all over the place. Sharing my personal experiances and reconnecting with people in my life gives me that warm fuzzy feeling. Give me an add on your favorite social networking site of choice.
http://www.myspace.com/guyselga
http://www.facebook.com/gselga (be sure to add me and not my dad)
{Guy Selga on Flickr}
